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Recently a friend of my daughters that plays on her team asked my daughter to “watch her back” with the coach and fellow players. The girl is a star player with numerous colleges scouting her for scholarships. The girl was smoking pot prior to games in the parking lot, then coming to practice and covering up the odor with body spray. She would ask my daughter to do “the sniff” test of her breath, clothes and hair to make sure they didn’t smelled.When my daughter came to me she explained that she feels caught in the middle and asked for help so that she didn’t lose a friend  but at the same time she was worried her friend was going to get hurt and cost herself scholarship opportunities.

I reviewed the situation with my daughter explaining sometimes to be a real friend you have to make tough decisions that will test the friendship. I suggested I speak with the girl after practice and tell the girl that I have had suspicions about her pot-smoking. When I confronted my daughter my suspicions were confirmed. I explained that I was not trying to hurt her reputation and that this would remain confidential, but I was worried for her safety and feel her parents should know. I was very kind with my words and explained how much the girl had to lose, scholarships, injury during a game and even worse, being in an accident. The girl was upset and stated that she only had done it a few times and would stop. I explained that I felt she need the support of her parents to assist her and that I too was there if she need any help but that I could not turn a blind eye. I said I think she  needs to be the one to tell her parents so I will give her 24 hrs to tell her parents after which time I would be speaking with her mom and  I assured her I would not tell anyone else.

The girl’s parents and I often sit together during the games or work in the concession stand. The next game I pulled the mom to the side and I explained that I had a very hard subject to discuss but hoped she would hear me with an open mind as I adored her daughter and deeply respected she and her husband. We went and sat away from everyone as if we were watching the game then I explained the situation. I stated that I had already spoken to her daughter who admitted using the drug and that I gave the daughter 24 hrs to tell her parents or I was going to. The mom began to cry and then gave me a hug, Her daughter did tell them over the phone that afternoon (leaving out that I also knew).  The mom went on to say they had no idea as the daughters grades were good, her attitude was good but that she did seem more distant and removed but they thought it was that she was overwhelmed with classes, sports practice and the fact that exams were approaching.

-Anita D., mother of 2